Groovybabe

Hello. I am rubbish, I know. But I am thinking about weightloss, even if I havent been doing it. To be honest I have fallen out of doing anything really for a good few weeks. There are a number of factors as to why this has happened (such as sciatica, insomnia, laziness, life getting in the way) but ultimately the truth is I am rubbish and have let life get in the way. Albeit temporarily. I weighed in today for the first time since Monday and was pleased to see that I have maintained the same weight of 14.5, which given how much I have eaten and how little I have exercised is nothing short of a miracle.

I actually wanted to go back to the gym this week. Monday. But I had a personal crisis which meant that I didn’t. I would like to go today but I am really scared that it will set off my Sciatica and I won’t be able to go out tomorrow night. I love my Saturday nights out now, I live for the weekend. I havent been to the gym for a month really and in that time I have not had a single Sciatica issue. When I am regularly working out I cannot go two weeks without being dibilitated with the condition, the last time to the point where I could not walk for 10 days. So you see my fear? I will just have to start going again on Monday.

My weekends are so cool right now. I go out with friends, get drunk and make a fool of myself. It’s great! I am so much more confident these days. A few months ago I could not go out without having a panic attack and now… I don’t have panic attacks or anxiety anymore!! Where I go they have a photographer there and every week pictures show up of me under the influence on Facebook. It’s funny. Once upon a time I would have been absolutely horrified. Some times I look really dodgy in the pictures but more often than not it is me tagging myself in them!

I feel so much more confident in my skin. This is the feeling I was after from the beginning. Of course, I still have a way to go but I no longer feel that I am grotesque or someone who should not be seen in public. This has largely come from male attention, I have to admit. It is something I am getting a lot more of these days.  And even from guys that I actually fancy, too. Of course, it is guys I am not interested in who want to go the whole 9 yards, so I am just having fun enjoying the attention right now.

But feeling attractive again after not doing so for so long has its down points as well as it’s up points. Because I seem to have lost that urgency I had to lose weight. I still want to lose weight but I don’t think it is urgent so have become quite slack really. But I have been 14.5 for a month now, so I am thinking I need to go full throttle and get down to 13.5 now. I know I can do it, I just have to put the effort in.

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