Health Link: Looking to gain muscle? Buy Incentive
By Groovybabe • Jan 27th, 2008 • Category: being motivated, clubbing, diet management, goalsThis post is bought to you from Hangover City, LOL. Ha! Yes, I went out last night and actually I havent slept yet as my sleep is so rubbish at the moment!!
I am writing this with a hangover to demonstrate how on my mind all this weightloss stuff is. I really want to lose a bit more weight to take me to the next level but I have a reason for urgency now! And, yes, it involves a man! A very very lovely man who is one of my best friends in the world. A bit of back history.
I bet him in 1995 and instantly fancied him, but a generic experience with many fatties, he started dating my ultra gorgeous, slim and confident best mate. Me and said friend drifted apart while they were together (3 years) and because I’d had her brothers baby and we’d split up. Once my friend and her BF split up I was able to pick up a friendship with him. He always knew I had a crush on him, and he wasn’t interested because he is a self-confessed lover of petite girls, and I am anything but! But over the years we developed a very close friendship from this odd situation. We’ve had our ups and downs (my ego doesnt cope when he wants to date my girlfriends after that initial experience!) and actually last year I walked away from our friendship because he was flirting outrageously with my best friend and I could not cope with it. But when he realised I had cut him out of my life, and why, he rang me up and apologised for upsetting me, and told me just how much I mean to him. That was nice because he’d never said before. He also told me I mean more to him than a flirt with my BF and assured me I had nothing to worry about there. This is a guy friend who has no romantic interest but have gone to these levels to claim back our friendship. It meant the world to me. He now tells me how he feels all the time. Since we got back in touch we have become closer and closer. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I love him, this is not a romantic closeness (unless I am a size zero some time soon that is never going to happen!). We talk on the phone all the time and I cherish his friendship probably more than I do anyone else in my life. And I know I am one of his top peeps too.
He is my biggest supporter in everything I do, from pursuing guys I like, my career, my son and especially my weightloss. The last time I saw him (he’s relocated for work) I weighed 18 stone, having just lost my first stone. He is always asking for updates on my weightloss and when I talk to him when I am drunk I keep telling him he better not come on to me when I reach goal (I think thats wishful thinking more than anything else, lol). So I last saw him 4 stone ago, which was last summer. I keep on at him to come down and see me. But he says he has nowhere to stay so I have told him he can come and stay here. We did a deal that if I cook him meals he will come and stay, as he loves food. I told him he is in good company, LOL. So, to recap, I havent seen him since I was 18st. I am now 14 and I am going to try and arrange it so that he comes down for my birthday weekend, which is in the middle of March. So now I want to lose another stone for when he visits me! (Don’t worry, this is not about us getting together but just so I can get a few compliments, lol) I think it is a pretty good incentive!!!
We were chatting about weightloss the other night actually. He tells me that he thinks I am aiming too low as a final goal. He’s told me off about this more than once actually. I want to be 9 1/2 stone and a size 10. But he says that will be too small for my frame, that I will be too “bony”, LOL. He thinks I should aim for a size 12. But then in another conversation he will describe his ideal woman as weighing 8 1/2 stone!!! He amuses me, but I feel thankful for such a powerful insight into the psyche of a man!
On a different note, another side of me is fearful of losing any more weight. Loose skin is really starting to be a problem, to the point where I am self conscious about it. I worry that the more I lose, the worse it will get. But then I think I either lose weight and reach my goal and put up with saggy skin/have an op, or stay quite fat and still not be happy with what I have got. I dont really have much choice do I!!!!
So anyway I am back in the gym tomorrow, and back on weightwatchers and am really going to refocus myself and get to the next stage in time for his visit, and my birthday!! Wish me luck!!
Groovybabe is 14.11 stones today and feeling in control.
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How tall are you? Ten stone was my ideal weight at 16-18. I’m aiming for about 11 stone, myself.
I am 5′6” my healthy weight range is from 8 stone 12- 11.1 I am aiming for 136lbs or 9 and a half. But I will be happy as a 10-12 size.
You must have a tiny frame. I’m half an inch shorter.
Oh & I was a size 10 at 10 stone.
why must I have a tiny frame? I have a medium frame?
my sister is the same height as me and weighs 9 and a half and is a size 10. I figure as were the same build I should aim for what she has (although my friend says she is too small)
If he likes petite girls he like them short most likely, and therefore 8.5 stone isn’t that drastic. You’re not a short girl so you’d look silly when you got to that weight. 136 is fine for girls our height. It’s quite thin, but not gross thin. Ever think your sis shaves a few pounds off her weight when she tells you how much she weighs?
You’ll have a better perspective from which to decide your perfect weight when you’re near it.
Personally, being hourglass, I can weigh a lot more than your average pear or apple and look thin because my waist is narrow. Yet we’re the same size.
Oh…and guys that like tiny girls tend to do so because guys like to feel big and manly. It’s often got nothing to do with us, but their own crap self esteem!
You have a good point about him liking short girls actually.
No my sister doesnt do that, we get on the scales sometimes together so I know she is telling the truth. Personally I think she is a little big. Shes put on a stone lately and its all showing on her tummy and bum.
Awll, I dont think bad of him for wanting a petite girl. I used to take the piss years ago telling him how shallow he is but weve talked in detail about where he is coming from and I dont really think he is shallow, he just has high standards (like me!). I am much more shallow than he is. He asked me what my perfect guy would be like the other day and I simply said “good looking” LOL PMSL! He is the nicest guy in the world, I cant have a word said against him lol. How many guys would have developed such a close friendship with a girl they had no interest in? I heart him!
Funny you should say that… I’ve found that American guys are fine with platonic guy/girl friendships whereas here (and apparently in the UK) they aren’t likely to pursue just a friendship with a female. It’s been frustrating for sure!!
I wasn’t saying he’s shallow, I’m saying that the guys I know that always go for tiny girls are the ones who are a bit insecure.
I would say if you’re only looking for “good looking” guys your standards are not that high! You deserve a lot more than that!
Thats interesting. But yeah, guys here are reluctant to pursue friendships where there is no element of sexual attraction. With my guy friends at the pub the ones who are more attentive friends are definitely the ones who fancy you.
I guess he is a bit insecure, especially since he has relocated for work and is on his own without friends or family, but he knows he is good looking. Although does sometimes seek compliments from me through things he says (like putting himself down) but I never give them when he does that lol.
Heh well I am not looking for a relationship, just fun at the moment so I just want good looking guys. To cover up my insecurities!!! Its good for my ego lol. Obviously when I want to settle down I will be looking for more than that and would have to have someone with common interests, who can hold a conversation, and all the rest of it we want such as trustworthyness and respect etc. But at the moment I am happy to just flirt with the lookers, LOL.
I just think that a bit of fun with people you’ll see more than once - well…. It’s good if they are fun all around, not just to look at. Makes it more fun. Just becuase you’re not looking for mr right doesn’t mean you don’t deserve mr charming and intelligent and interesting.